Ne yeona-san, tanjoubi omedetoub(hapi bday) I just want u to know that there's someone who's always been proud of you, okay? And i am one of them; I'm so proud of all your achievements. It's okay when some of your achievements isn't enough for you, Be thankful even if you can't reach it, at least you tried. Always remember that no matter how hard you try to get what you want, but still can't achieve it, you still have a chance, and if you really can't, maybe it's not for you, and that's okay! Always remember that you've tried your best for that thing, and that's what matters. Yes I am proud! I am so proud of u for trying, even when it hurts. It takes a lot to be the kind of person who challenges themselves to change; it takes a lot to be the kind of person who confronts all that is lost and haunted within them. I wish I could tell you when you will know, when your head will finally feel like it is floating above water, but healing is something u will never be able to time—it is something you will never be able to measure. Things will get lighter as you break up the earth within yourself. Things will get lighter as you excavate the past from your mind, when you learn how to forgive it and befriend it. So keep taking the steps. Keep asking the questions. Keep facing the things you need to face. You are getting closer every single day, even when it does not feel that way.